Blog #2: The Journey to Hardwood Floors
Another gorgeous week in Murray, Utah behind me. I officially signed a lease for a cute apartment in a cute part of the city, so this will be one of my last gorgeous weeks here. I am a bit of a country mouse in the way that I will sacrifice so much aesthetically in the service of paying the cheapest rent possible. I can’t stomach the money, especially in Salt Lake City. I should not be paying city mouse prices for a city that has a bedtime.
I have never had a cute apartment. My first place (outside of dorms) was a two bedroom house right at the bottom of Old Main Hill’s staircase to campus at USU. The location was primo, and the rent was cheap. The house itself was pretty wack, no type of AC, painted over light fixtures, and a serious black mold issue. We did the best we could with it and it was a den of high femme squalor. It was decorated with garrish red and pink decorations and appliances, even our table was spray painted pink with a big red heart in the middle. It was pretty poorly done and the table was always sticky. There was a period of time (over 3 months) where we installed and left up red lightbulbs as the primary overhead lighting for the living room, kitchen and bathroom. At the time there were three of us living there, and I was outvoted until the new year. It was a truly evil and reality-altering effect, and I have no doubt of its lasting effect on all three of us. We didn’t have the good sense to speak up about the apartment issues and our landlord was very lazy. I was happy to leave.
My next place was one of those typical apartment buildings they put up in Utah with the mountain range outline on the sign that matches the tattoos people from the Midwest are addicted to getting. It was newer and the amenities were decent, but it didn’t have any charm to it. What little it did have was owed entirely to roommate razzle dazzle. I lived there with my good friend Nikhil and my sister, Bonnie. We lived there for about a year and through the initial COVID lockdown. The three of us still have a family-like bond. We hosted a few brunches at our place during that time, which was really an opportunity for us to showboat and fight for attention in front of all of our friends. I will never forget when Nikhil said to me (in passing), “I view every interaction as a showcase performance or a networking opportunity.” Our last brunch will live forever in infamy as the day that Kobe and Gianna Bryant died in a tragic helicopter accident. Our lease ended ended in the middle of COVID lockdown. During COVID, we made 10 skits together that you can watch here. We put hardly any decorations up and maintained harsh overhead lighting in the common spaces throughout our stay.
During the summer of 2020, I shacked up with 4 other people in a 4 bedroom unit that cost I think less than $500 to rent for the whole summer, a godsend at the time as we were all unemployed or funemployed (enjoying COVID unemployment pay). I moved in with my boyfriend, and we’ve lived together ever since. The place was fine enough, but once again was chosen for financial rather than aesthetic reasons. I loved my roommates, but it was a really tiny place and we all had our own appliances and dishes. We had a psychotic landlord, her name was Patty. She had rules about drinking in the house and she was very suspicious of our whole unit. The good news is that she also had some kind of significant short term memory loss situation, she would forget what she spoke to us about as soon as she left the property.
In July of 2020, I got a suspect telesales job in Murray. I found an apartment a few blocks away about two weeks later, nestled among a worldclass strip mall. Beauty Lab & Laser, a business owned by Real Housewives of Salt Lake City’s Heather Gay, is the crowning jewel of my strip mall. This medspa is flanked by a Dollar Tree and some kind of a mattress store, and my strip mall parking lot is the venue of the greatest reality television episode ever aired (maybe I’m being generous), wherein the FBI and Homeland Security flank the housewives of Salt Lake in search of one Jen Shah, a housewife herself who would later plead guilty for conspiracy to commit telefraud. Telesales, namely fraudulent telesales, has to make up at least 40% of Utah’s economy. Ever see Punch Drunk Love? The tele-scammers are located in where else but Provo, Utah.
We had done three moves in the last four months and I think that’s part of the reason why I’ve stayed at this place for three years. I moved with my boyfriend, Brenden, and my sister. We got a two bedroom unit on the first floor. Grey linoleum floors, oak doors, light switches, and no overheard lighting. I mean that. Aside from the kitchen and bathroom, we had no ceiling lights. Our unit is sort of tucked into the building and facing south, so we have virtually no sunlight coming in. Brenden and I killed I want to say ten plants during our first year. I think we did a good job with what we had, but most of the decorating was done within the first six months and never improved upon. For most of the first year, I lived there with Brenden in one room and Bonnie in the second. Our bestie Andrew stayed with us in Bonnie’s room from October to about June of the following year. We had some good times, but quarters were extremely close. I have a picture, and it’s even dated, of the three of us wearing matching sweatshirts. We had the biggest fight of our friendship trio’s existence that very night. Lines were drawn. Boyfriends were disrespected. Threats to kick each other out soon followed. Bonnie, Andrew, and I may as well be triplets so it wasn’t so bad that we couldn’t recover, and looking back it really makes me laugh. We developed better interpersonal boundaries after that stint together. I think that will be the last time (god willing) any of us ever have to share a room together longer than a few days. Even just a couple of years ago, I could have lived dorm style with several others in my room. It would be miserable, of course, but I would have accepted it or even offered it as an option. Aside from the person I sleep with, I can’t even pretend to entertain the idea of living with anyone else again. I hope I never get into a Dish Politics situation with a loved one or acquaintance as long as I shall live. Monogamy is good for a lot of things but eliminating roommates has got to be an S Tier privilege.
My new place is located in the cutest neighborhood in Salt Lake City, The Avenues. It’s a multi unit house tucked away from main roads but still very walkable. Utah has very little tree cover, and where we are is technically desert climate. There is no hiding from the sun in the summertime. This neighborhood is close the university and has more trees than the rest of the city. My apartment has hard wood floors! It’s in a good neighborhood! I don’t have to pay $40 to Uber home on the weekends! I never thought the day would come for me. The best part is that I’ll be paying the same price as I would have if we had stayed in Murray. I am putting a lot of pressure on this move. I am hoping it makes me feel better about living here. I love Utah, and I have a lot of great friends here. I don’t think I see this as my home, and I feel that I would be doing a disservice to myself to spend my entire 20s in a D-tier city like this. Maybe I’ll feel differently after living in a place that isn’t ugly. Look out for updates!
