Blog #3: Halloweenspo
Usually I have my halloween costume planned by the spring and purchased or in motion by August. Halloween is my favorite holiday of all time. It should be recognized the same way Thanksgiving is, by celebrating the last weekend in October. I have one of those personalities. I’m the type of white girl who loves wearing wigs, and not like good wigs. I could have been a lot worse in a different timeline. I have student government roots and I’ve always loved even the most egregious themed party. Halloween is an obviously sexy and exciting holiday that needs no defending but it is an added benefit that it allows someone like me an outlet.
I have a few thoughts on what makes a good Halloween costume. It’s changed over time but I think I’ve stayed pretty true to myself over the years.
First of all, you need to be yourself. Not everybody is hot in the same way, and thank god for that. There is no hard and fast rule that can’t be broken under the right circumstances. Like all known haters, my criticism is targeted and DOES not apply to my friends who did some of these things last year.
Now that I have that out of the way, here are MY thoughts on Halloween costumes:
No “smart” or pun-based costumes: What a nightmare! I would never do this. I guess in my head a smart halloween costume should be hot or scary. It just comes off as this half-commitment to what a costume is even supposed to be. Who hears a turn of phrase and thinks “Oh wow I need to see this ON!”? If it’s super obvious and extremely popular, I think there can be some leeway. I still wouldn’t do it. You have been doomed to an evening of explaining yourself. And you’re never explaining something fun like “OMG this is my favorite TV character from XYZ show” instead you’re like “It’s Kevin SPACE-y, get it??” I doubt I’m gonna come back and edit this to come up with a different celebrity name my mind is totally blank aside from the disgraced Kevin Spacey. I think the rules are different for guys. As a guy you need to focus on keeping your dignity. Obvious puns only like don’t try and be cute.
Basic is Better: I am a true costume appreciater. I love when people go all out, do not get me wrong. I go all out often and even my most basic costumes are done with intention—the intention of looking hot. If you are not sure what to be, you need to go into a Spirit Halloween and buy a nun costume. Seriously, tell me the last time you were at a costume party and the sexy pirate didn’t look good? It’s a classic for a reason people. You can make the mistake of being too ambitious, especially if you go out every weekend in October. The other fun thing about going the basic route is that you can use that recognizability to your advantage. A lot of costumes rely on color schemes, sometimes a little accessory here or there. You can very easily make a costume your own, on a budget or amped up to your liking.
Pro Fake Blood: I love bloody Halloween costumes. Blood can be added to any regular costume for a little edge. Depending on how this year goes, I might just wear a bra top, black shorts and douse a little fake blood on myself. It just looks soooo good. I love the erotic beauty moments that come from horror. I always think of the gorgeous bobbed Drew Barrymore, hair the same complexion as her skin, brick lipstick, and a blood soaked torso. I used to make my own fake blood, but I’m not that good at it, so I’d recommend blood from any Special FX supplier or your regular Spirit Halloween inventory. This is another one I wish more guys would cling on to. Just wear whatever you usually wear, maybe a little less than you usually wear, add some fake blood and wow you look hot now at this Halloween party without laying it all out on the line.
Scary, Beautiful, or Relevant: You need to be hitting at least one of these three boxes. The best costumes hit all three. The most important thing is that it looks like a Costume. You should look different than your every day self. This may seem repetitive as a tip but I really say it to highlight how simple it is to slay a Halloween look. Choosing a movie or TV character is a great move. This is another accessible option as they’re often in every day clothes. It’s great conversation fodder as well. When in doubt, go for classic horror. Scream queens are always a fun pick and come on, what better way to honor the spirit of the holiday? You can pick any recognizable figure from pop culture, and if you know your audience, you can go for a more obscure look. I say tread lightly on that one, I get personally annoyed when someone picks something that no one knows, just lame.
Clever Costumes/Costumes with a Canon: This is different than pun costumes. I love a costume whose genesis is specific to the people who made the costume. I have two friends who are going as Bald Walter White and Not Bald Walter White for Halloween. I know one of them is actually bald and the other isn’t, and they could go either way: Natural selves or bald cap and wig combo, respectively. They are in talks to get someone a lot bigger than them to be Jesse Pinkman. It doesn’t matter if no one gets it, although for the record I think people will recognize them. It matters that they’re gonna have fun. I love stuff like that. One of my Halloween costumes from 2021, probably my favorite Halloweekend of all time, was a group of four us dressed as Agnetha from ABBA. My little head canon for this costume came from a real place. We were discussing an ABBA group costume and I thought it would be funny if we all went as the same ABBA character. The idea was, what if we all agreed to do ABBA without clarifying who would be who and just assumed we would each be Agnetha? I have too many blondes in my life and it’s only natural that we would each want to be the hottest member of the band. I wanted like 15 people to do it, but it ended up being perfect with four of us.
Two of the four Agnetha’s
So, what am I thinking for Halloween this year? I’ll update once I actually execute. What you should know is I will be utilizing a fake tan and I will be blonde with fake hair pieces for both. I’m going for the pink vibe, but I will not be doing Barbie. I can’t handle the competition, especially not in Salt Lake City, home to the Apex Blonde. I am not going to be breaking the bank. I usually leave the city for Halloweekend, but I’m a little strapped after my move and I just don’t think with the state of my finances and this economy that I could rally a group to come up with the money for that. I believe that three plus is a party, and I just don’t see two plus people in my life both interested in investing in an extravagant Halloweekend for 2023. I don’t usually work in a twosome unless it’s my twin sister, my man, or my best friend who just happens to be an adult male blonde. Leaving town for Halloween is fun, but so is not being charged a biohazard fee for leaving fake blood in the shower of an Airbnb. For all the weekends leading up to THE Halloweekend, I’ll be re-using old costumes and I’ll give a little more details on how they came together. See some of this year’s Halloweenspo:
